Meeting People Where they are
So many years ago when I was first starting my business, I walked into the rented space and had a moment to myself. I prayed quietly and have continued to pray this same prayer for many years, “Let this space provide healing. No matter the person, no matter the pain, no matter the wound.” But after that, I gave myself some rules.
I would never hijack our conversations, but rather I am there to listen.
I have no care what their life choices are, what they believe, who they pray to, what their politics are.
No advice will be given until we have grown into a trusting relationship with each other.
They don’t have to say anything they don’t want to.
My intention is safety.
This was more than a decade ago, and what I can say is this. In a world that loves to tell others what they think and what they believe, choosing to listen first and practice quiet, awoke in me a great observer. I was enveloped in strangers stories, watching them open up to me in ways that I never thought possible, and a deep intuition for the body, soul, and mind was found. This intuition is impossible to discover without meeting people where they are.
Everyone’s story is beautifully and sometimes dramatically different, but no one is without their perspective. Holding space for someone or meeting someone where they are, is an active choice. You are never going to be without your own story which means opinions and judgements might be on the tip of your tongue, but a strange phenomenon happens when allowing someone the space to BE—the part of you that used to fight to be seen and heard, quiets down. Being praised, noticed, or revered no longer seems as important as the human in front of you. Being RIGHT doesn’t matter as much as it used to—but winning someone’s trust matters more.
Becoming white noise in a world of chatter is polution. It takes years to build true relationships. It takes years to earn someone’s love, especially when they’ve gone through trials where confidence has been stripped again and again. Meeting someone where they are means, they are just fine now—not tomorrow when they’ve done something better, but they are loved today with no expectation. They need not believe in our God. They need not eat like we eat. They need not live like we live. But during all this, with no projection, we hold space for people to rise. We picture their dreams with them. We stand when they can’t.
