Small Steps
If you get paralyzed by the bigger picture, it might just mean that your brain doesn’t know how to break it down into smaller steps and this is vital for success.
For years I have been helping people realize that the more emphasis that you place on an unrealized goal, the more chance you have that you’ll miss the important opportunities at hand. So stop it! You’ve got big things to do. Truly big things. You might just be sitting quite comfortably in self sabotage mode because it’s what you’ve done for years. Trust me, I know.
Just last year, my husband came to me overwhelmed. He said so, but it was also very apparent on his face and in his actions. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, “There’s just so many things to do that I feel like I’m drowning. I’m having a hard time not feeling like we’ll never get to the things we need to do.”
Years ago, I had started a practice for myself that changed my life and ultimately made it so that I could get everything done and limit my mental fatigue. One thing you all know about me is that I will always mention, it is not always easy, rather we have to figure out things . . . sometimes . . . one day at a time. So, my husband agreed that I could walk with him through the practice I had started for myself years ago.
I got out a pen and a paper and my first request was that he break down all of the things he needs to do that ultimately become nagging thoughts—which in turn make him feel crazy—and I’ll write a list.
His first answer was, “The House.”
I looked up at him with surprise. If any of you have listened to our podcast, you realize that he and I absolutely adore each other, but we laugh at each other a lot. “What do you mean . . . the house?” I asked.
He was so confused. I said, “The house is too big. Break it down by thoughts.”
Again, he looked at me with confusion. “What do you mean?” He asked again.
So I finally jumped in, “You mentioned something about that hole in the backyard that you need to fill. Let’s start with that.” I wrote it down. I helped him with the second one—all things that I’ve listened to him complain about. I told him, “We’re basically writing down every tiny thing that when you see it, it. messes with your thoughts that then messes with your spirit.”
We finished the entire practice that I do, but within the first few minutes, I had already recognized Ben’s biggest challenge. Ben lets the big things be so overwhelming that his brain can no longer quickly change these big things into small. I’ve made my living off of the idea that throwing everything at people including the kitchen sink, leaves people clawing upward from deep in their abyss, so it’s my job to help them break it down. Everyone has this issue, but some of us struggle with it a bit more. And sometimes we’re good at it in certain compartments of our lives, and others, we’re not.
For a couple hours, he and I spent time walking through these duties that were weighing him down and directing his ultimate goals to the correct part of his brain. Now, it only takes us a short time on Sundays to get through our practice and he’s no longer having the crazy mental fatigue anymore. When it gets bad again, this usually means we’ve stepped away from our practice.
Our goals are important. They should always be changing, they should always be getting bigger, and we should always be challenging ourselves. But, if we don’t recognize the importance of the smaller steps, it can paralyze us. If your next step seems too big, maybe that’s not the right step? Maybe you haven’t broken it down small enough?
Reach out to me if you have a desire to win, but just find yourself getting overwhelmed on a daily basis. I understand . . . I’ve been there. I still get there sometimes.
You are meant to do big things. Maybe you just haven’t learned all the tools to help you get there?
Love,
Tessa
